Baseball Statistics

Pete and Skip are the baseball announcers for the Atlanta Braves and its a game between the New York Mets and the Braves.

Pete: Here we are Skip, its the 5th inning tonight, two men are out and the Mets have men on second and third. The Mets have yet to score. Who do we have coming up for the Mets, Skip?

Skip: We have Billy Bones, Pete and he is 0 for 2 in tonights game.

Pete: What else do you have?

Skip: He’s batting .272.

Pete: What else do you have?

Skip:  I do Pete. It says here in his statistics that his hitting average is .250 with men on base; .285 with 2 men out; .235 with men on second and third; .290 with a man on second; and .201 with a man on third. He also hits .299 when its a Monday night game in the month of August.

Pete: Do you have anything else Skip?

Skip: Yes Pete. He’s hitting .234 when he’s up against our pitcher Maddox, although if it is below 60 degrees at game time he only hits .210. Oh, I forgot to add, if he went 2 for 4 the day before he hits .301 and .130 if he went 0 for 5. I might add that if he didn’t play the day before he hits even lower, he only hits .120.

Pete: Is that all?:

Skip: No! If it’s a three game series with the Braves he only hits .222 with two men on, two men out in the 5th inning and above 60 degrees at game time and Maddox is the pitcher. Oh, I forgot to add, and it’s at night.

Pete: Can you be more explicit?

Skip: Well, yes Pete. if he is batting from the left side with two men on, two out and again it’s the 5th inning, the game is played at night and on a Monday he hits .270.

Pete: Is there anything else,

Skip: Yes, Pete. If his mother is in the stands his average goes up in every situation.

Pete: Do you have his statistics when his mother is in the stands?

Skip: They are all in a book by his brother Bob, “Billy Bones’ Ballistic Statistics.”

Pete: What happened to Bones?

Skip: Bones broke his bat bunting out.

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